Note to Self: Tuesdays are never good days for Kiwi

I miss my Zoloft. Good lord how I miss it. I know that this anxiety is completely unfounded and that if I had my Zoloft I'd feel normal again. There isnt any reason for me to be anxious. Nothing is wrong. I mean, aside from the things listed in that text message nothing is wrong. Maybe my perception is off. Not my depth perception, but life perception. Fuck. I dunno. But I'm sitting in my vent channel and standing in Stormwind per my usual and not really doing anything and while I want to be doing something, I'm just not. Except laundry. I AM doing laundry. And looking at Sam Kat looking at me with that hateful stare that says "Damn you woman, give me Goldfish crackers". Which I won't do. Astraea called and I said I'd call him back. I'm waiting for the ass beating I'm going to get from Robyn as to why I'm in San Diego (hopefully she understands). I'm debating on text messaging Bann, but I'm afraid I'm going to sound like whining idiot so I don't. Maybe after my shower..

And on Wednesday she wondered if maybe she wasn't a little too tired...

to deal with all of the crap. The Karyuudo stuff was pretty funny, if you ask me. WHAT DID YOU DO TO THUNDER? Nothing. WHY DOES HE LOVE YOU? Beats me. WHAT IS IT ABOUT YOU? Fuck if I know. And I wonder now on Wednesday if maybe I'm just a bit to tired of it all. Having negative self image is harsh. It's like.. a really heavy ball on your back. On that crushes down on you from above. It's easy to have a positive self image ingame. Look at me. I'm in purples, don't I looke pretty *parades*. But at the end of the day when you look into the mirror, what do you really see? Someone who is very very tired and looks sorta old if ya ask me.

And on Wednesday she realized she hadn't posted Tuesday

HA! I have my alt to lvl 35. It is offically my highest alt on any server. And that's a good thing I guess. It gives me somethin' to do with Bann when I am not raid retarded. I wish the guild had more healers, cause it would be good if we did. Gotta work on that this week if at all possible. Because we can't raid w/o them. I wonder where we could find some.. hrm..

So today we got up and went to Carlsbad.. but couldn't find the farmers market. No big deal. There are farmers markets tomorrow and then we're going to do something else before the raid tomorrow night. Not really much of anything going on. On days like today you sorta feel out of it, like you have 1/2 a head or something. I know I feel like I could take a nap (partially because I didn't get a lick of sleep last night). I ended up on the couch this morning, trying to get atleast an extra hour of sleep. I took a new pic in the car today, with curls. I posted on my myspace page to see what kind of response I get from it. More later I suppose.. but Karazhan now

On Monday: Kiwi is bugged by PvP

Okay.. so.. I walked to the Vietnamese Deli and then went and got my eyebrows waxed. I walked home and 1/2 of my 5v5 team was online. So I went to watch Tomb Raider (Get my Jolie fix) and fell asleep. That's the downside to being on the left coast I suppose, being at 8pm for me is 11pm for anyone else. Well I didnt get my PvP matches in and it made me sad. Makes me think about just giving up or whatever. Who knows. I know I shouldnt give up and I dont honestly want to, but if no one wants to PvP, how can I honestly force them? Oh well. I helped Obi get some new healy stuffs for his purples (because purdy purples make everyone happy) and we're counting down until raid time this week. I just wanna kill some bosses and see more content. No more drama. No more crap.

Also.. sent *hug* to Banthian and got a Um.. hi in return. Dunno if that's good or bad, but feel like crying so I'm not going to push it anymore.

And on Sunday? Tart apples and sausage rolls

So today was day 2 of the non-WoW weekend. Waking up early to go to the farmers was a good thing, but also a bad thing because Bann wakes up and is like BAM and I wake up and Im like.. wut? So we got up early-ish and went to the farmers market. While at the market I had a green apple that was "as big as my head". I had two sausage rolls and food and soda and a chocolate covered strawberry. That farmers market was in Hillcrest (the openly gay community). THEN we drop to another farmers market and walked up and down the block looking into the shops until the farmers market opened at 2. At THAT farmers market we got a jar of salsa and signed a PETA thing about animals in stockyards and such. Then I asked about Old Town and so we went down to Old Town and walked around and stuff. It was fun. I liked seeing this stuff, but shit I like seeing all sorts of things. Bann should me all of the little markets and stuff and it was the most fun I have had in a long time. Then we went to dinner and came home. Dinner was nice because we sat beside each other and watched the game and read the Reader. It was hysterical.

It's been nice to be away from WoW for these last two days. No restrictions on having to raid and stuff. Yes I know I dont HAVE to raid and stuff. I know it doesn't hinge on me in the slightest. And being away from the guild this weekend taught me that. I thought about alot of WoW related stuff though, like how Thunder will never get over himself and be happy for his friends. He's always going to be hurt and even after everything happens he's still not going to be able to be happy for people who were his friends. Oh well. Such is life, the rest is just details. The week starts again tomorrow, which means the countdown starts for Thursday raiding and stuff and then I'll probably complain about how I'm bored. Oh well, you know what they say. Complaints are like assholes, everyone has one. Even me.

And on Saturday there was movie night

So... it's been -almost- a month since I got to California and I think today.. or maybe yesterday I have seen the most of Southern California I have ever seen. Driving to Mirmar to retrieve IDs.. driving around last night (I'm not sure how you can see SoCal at night, but you can). And today, going to the Chevy dealer and the movies. It's been alot of fun. The truck was absolutely awesome and the movie One Missed Call was really good. I had my first bit of Korean food today (had to brush my teeth to stop the burning sensation in my mouth) and I have been blissfully detached from WoW for most of the day. No instances, no raiding, no stress for the Kiwimiester. THANK GOODNESS. I know lately I've been all herding the drama lama and such, but Jesus woman, come up from the game for two seconds and see where you've moved too. Good lord. Anyways, it will be nice to take the weekend off. I know we want progression but I'd like to have a bit of my sanity back. Morg and Goon came home and life around the halls of Prophecy have started to return to normal. Well, as normal as they're going to get for Prophecy. Kiomi comes to SoCal in.. 50days, give or take some change, and things around here should be back to Kiwi and Bann normal (whatever that means). All and all January has been a productive month of raiding and living and stuffs. Ohshi- I completely forgot to mention my sister had her baby. Michael Edwards (better known as Eddie or Edwardo on the streets). She's happy, he's healthy and the father is still an idiot. Other then that.... I can't really think of alot. I miss the folks on the right coast, but not enough to pine for home. I hope they miss me and think of me often, as I do them. Anyways.. I'm out for the night.. rather long first blog, imo.